Category Archives: My works

Here you will find short stories, flash fiction, weird almost-poetry and essay-like concoctions.

The Lost Hostess

My girlfriend has the best breasts. They’re firm, yet yielding, and no matter how much I try I can’t hold all of one in a hand.
She comes to my apartment pretty often and she walks around in her underpants, no top, and her breasts bounce a little when she gets excited or reaches for something. If she was in a zoo I’d go to that zoo and I’d sit on a bench and stare at her through the glass forever.
I love her body – and she’s nice, too. She does all these weird little things, like, I work on Sundays, so on Mondays she calls me up and tells me whether the show I missed the day before was good or not so I won’t get disappointed. She’ll watch those shows, even if she’s not psyched on them herself, just to know what’s up with me. Continue reading

My First Time Reading Aloud At A Book Fair

The stellar amount of books left me breath-taken, but even more impressive was the many people come to see them.
The Bella Center in Copenhagen was filled to bursting with publishers and the books they were pushing and I walked through all of it to get to my own publisher: Egolibris.
I was there because my Danish book, “Tidsfangen” – “The Time Prisoner”, had now been published.

On the way to our booth I realized how heavy the competition was and the Bella Center transformed into a battle field.
Egolibris’ booth was small and situated in front of the Book Cafés large stage. I was about to ask her if that was where I’d be reading aloud when she sighed and said:
“Unfortunately we’ve got this big stage in front of us, so an earlier author had to basically shout in order to be heard.”
I smirked. “Don’t worry. I’ll steal them away,” I promised, confident in the boom of my voice, which was always remarked upon as being hard to ignore. Continue reading

Parents and their ideas

My father lowered his wrinkled hand to the ashtray and put the cigarette out in a cloud of smoke that made it look as if he conjured it from thin air. He didn’t look up at me but kept budding the cigarette though it was dead already. I felt sorry for the cigarette that it should suffer my offense.
“In love,” he said, “is such a rhetorical thing.”
The statement was senseless on so many levels to me that I refused to respond. Such phrases were typical for this man who thought each of his words were a breath to be caught and saved in a container that would only be opened on priced occasions when one needed consoling wisdom. Continue reading

A Kingdom of Sex

Cats are attracted to people who don’t like them. Many chase the cat around and try to stroke or hug it, but it’s the person who ignores it that catches its attention.
That’s the person into whose lab the cat crawls. Even if he or she has allergies.
And so it is with men.

“It’s too bad Cobalamine is already used for a vitamin. It would make such a cool name.”
Julie stops mid-kitchen with the baking plate and makes a disgusted face in my direction before she remembers that baking plates are hot and puts down the nachos. Her big earrings jiggle when she shakes her head.
“Cobalamine? Really?”
“Just listen to the word alone.”
She giggles. “I hope you never have babies.” Continue reading

Tuxedo No. 2 or Modern Mummy Matrony

Marvil threw his pink shirt on the bed.
His wife looked up from where she was nestled under the covers, with the pillows stacked up behind her and a book titled ‘all about pickling’ in her hands.
“Okay. Fine. I give up.”
“What’s wrong?” He assumed the amusement in her tone was meant to tease him but it just caused more frustration.
“I have nothing to wear tomorrow.” He lifted up the red shirt. “This is the best shirt I’ve got, but the color …”
She reached for it and looked at it, amazed. “Why do you even have it?”
“A friend got married in vegas.” Continue reading

Death By Hospitality

Imagine this:
You’re at the supermarket somewhere in the northern region of South Carolina. You just moved here from Boston to get that awesome job with all the perks and challenges you always wanted.
There’s a catch, though: your special other half wanted to stay in Boston and you’re all alone in this hot region that makes you feel like giving in and just become a melting meat-bag on the pavement.
But you’re stronger than that.
You don’t know anyone here – yet.
That’s why you’re at the supermarket. When in need of new friends there’s a very obvious place to start: your neighbors. That’s why you’re throwing a cookout tonight and now you can’t decide if you’re going to get the marinated chicken or the pre-smoked ribs. Continue reading

And Then: A Man’s Hell – Flash Fiction

”-and then he told me to come to the party, and at first I thought he didn’t really mean it because he never meant anything he said to me before.” He grinned at his sister and swung the t-shirt over his shoulder, posing in a model-like fashion. “But I guess I’m awesome enough to be included now.” He showed off his biceps.
“You’re so full of it.” His sister rolled her eyes. “I don’t think you should go.”
“Why not?”
“They’re gonna get you drunk.”
“Well, hopefully.”
“No, they’re gonna get your drunk and put it as though you did something stupid.”
“I probably will.”
“Damn it, listen! They did something illegal and they’re going to set you up!”
He blinked in confusion. Continue reading

Stranger On The Street

Stranger on the street
To you I’m just another face
Blonde hair
Blue eyes
Black  tennis shoes
At best you remember and hate me because I did something wrong in the traffic
But I’m not a block of wood moving about
I’m not a robot
I don’t have software
I have feelings and thoughts for the future
I have a past
But to you
I’m just another stranger on the street

This was written while I drove in the car on my way home from training. I often ponder how we look at people on the street and think of them as stereotypes. Imagening complex stories to each person we meet would be too much strain on the brain.

So I wonder what others see, when they see me.

Beauty grows old, knowledge forgoes

The twenties are a magnificent age, so filled with intrigue and understanding on a level we old fools remember only as a faint glimmer.
All depends on these young, brilliant heads and what they can create in their decade of genius.
Perhaps that is why I tend to linger amongst them, why I sometimes hang around college cafés to hear bits of their philosophical chatter that, to them, comes quite naturally, as non-singular as respiration, and I wish I could hear a truly academic debate so vigorous and deep that even their brains must work hard to keep up.
But that happens rarely.
Yes, the twenties are a magnificent age, full of the wisdom that fades as our faces grow softer, more symmetrical, more relaxed with un-knowing.
It’s a shame the young don’t appreciate it.
Beauty grows old as knowledge and passion forgoes.

An Open Letter to Teen Fangirls

I understand.
There’s a sense of shared love, a communion that’s safe and warm and snuggly because not only are you preying on a dream – the dream that the idol will one day turn around and say “I love you, too” – but that dream is shared by thousands, millions, of other girls who cannot be a threat because somehow, in a hidden subconscious that you don’t appreciate, you know that this idol never will turn around and tell you “I love you”.
It’s easier to love these boys who are made to appear nice, to appear safe, so much in opposition to the world you’re about to sting your finger on, the world of WOMANHOOD in which you’ll be screwed over by men, in which you’ll screw them up, too, and I mean that both literally and figuratively. Continue reading